Okay, I was almost asleep last night before I realized I never wrote a blog...and I don't really feel like writing one today. I'm going to give myself a pass with the traveling and stressing and the general sound of "ahhhhhhhhHHHHHH!!!!!'''' in my head. Tomorrow, I will be in a hotel room with nothing better to do, so I promise something legit.
Here's to being human. And lazy.
Friday, April 18, 2014
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
My First Voting Box Experience
I've voted since I was eighteen, but I've always done it via absentee ballots. Tennessee only allows absentee voting under a few circumstances, so this year I early voted in person. Aside from being told to smile by a stranger (one of my pet peeves), it was a great experience. Loads of super friendly senior citizens helped me through the process, my phone almost didn't work (which is where I had written down all the candidates I wanted to vote for) and in the end, I got my little shot at democracy.
Even though money continues to roll-over genuine democracy across this county, I am not deterred from voting. I am not deterred from volunteering for the candidates I believe in. Seeing all the people who showed up for just the first day of early voting for a municipal election, it isn't enough, but it is enough to not give up, yet.
So, thank you to all the people who help make democracy possible--poll workers, people willing to run for office ethically and every person who takes the time to make an educated vote. I am going to keep questioning what I can do to be a better citizen, and I hope part of that is going to be encouraging and enabling others to do the same. Here's to democracy--grab on tight and fight like hell against anything that gets in the way.
Even though money continues to roll-over genuine democracy across this county, I am not deterred from voting. I am not deterred from volunteering for the candidates I believe in. Seeing all the people who showed up for just the first day of early voting for a municipal election, it isn't enough, but it is enough to not give up, yet.
So, thank you to all the people who help make democracy possible--poll workers, people willing to run for office ethically and every person who takes the time to make an educated vote. I am going to keep questioning what I can do to be a better citizen, and I hope part of that is going to be encouraging and enabling others to do the same. Here's to democracy--grab on tight and fight like hell against anything that gets in the way.
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
"Normal" and Bodily Integrity
This new study " analyzed forensic interviews conducted by Children’s Advocacy Center (CAC) with 100 youths between the ages of three and 17 who may have been sexually assaulted," and found that these women experienced objectification, sexual harassment, and abuse on a daily basis. And, many of them see it as "normal." I have ton of angry feelings about living in a world where this is such a massive problem, but rather than rant, I want to think about what we can do to change this situation, the one where rapes go unreported and abuse becomes a part of people's lives.
No matter who you are, you have bodily integrity. What does this mean? This means your body is your own dominion. You are, by right of being born in your body, the king, queen and/or motherfucking court jester of your one and only body. Because you live in a society with others, often times your behaviors have to be modified for the greater well-being of all, but, in large part, your bodily choices don't affect anyone else. The clothes, makeup and hairstyles you done are your choices. People will judge you for those choices, but the fact remains they are your choices to make. (As far as the game of what things are deemed socially acceptable appearance-wise, I'm leaving that to another day.)
Let's say one day I get a priceless gift. Something thoughtful, considerate and beautiful. Then, someone comes by and, without saying anything, grabs that gift from me and breaks off a piece of it. They hand it back to me and say, "That's what those are for." Generally, that person is a grade A asshole. This is also an overly simplistic description of what people are doing to your bodily integrity when they harass or abuse you. Without your consent, they harm something of great worth that belongs to you. You are the arbiter of who does and does not get to touch you. You are also the arbiter of your conversations. If someone approaches you with and interest you do not share, it is your call to tell that person you aren't interested, politely. If they don't back down, that person is being the jerk--not you.
What I am trying to say is what is common is not acceptable. Despite everything I said, the world out there is not going to acknowledge the integrity of each individual's body and the choices they make with their body. Why? Because it's normal to see people as objects. It is normal for relatives to make disapproving remarks about children who don't like their hugs or "complain" about being tickled. It's normal for people to judge the sex lives of strangers by the clothes they wear or the amount of make up on their faces. If no one ever tells you, if you just have to learn from experience in the world, the message is clear--your body is an object in the world for objectification, harassment and abuse of others.
Let's start telling our children, let's start telling our partners and friends: I respect you, even when the world at large seems to have lost any sense of the verb, and I will help you. Help one another when we struggle with lack of self-esteem and our ability to believe we deserve respect. Help when we see someone's integrity being breached in anyway. Help people find healing and justice when they have suffered from this "normal" world. "Normal" doesn't change until the conversation does. Help build a new normal of bodily integrity.
No matter who you are, you have bodily integrity. What does this mean? This means your body is your own dominion. You are, by right of being born in your body, the king, queen and/or motherfucking court jester of your one and only body. Because you live in a society with others, often times your behaviors have to be modified for the greater well-being of all, but, in large part, your bodily choices don't affect anyone else. The clothes, makeup and hairstyles you done are your choices. People will judge you for those choices, but the fact remains they are your choices to make. (As far as the game of what things are deemed socially acceptable appearance-wise, I'm leaving that to another day.)
Let's say one day I get a priceless gift. Something thoughtful, considerate and beautiful. Then, someone comes by and, without saying anything, grabs that gift from me and breaks off a piece of it. They hand it back to me and say, "That's what those are for." Generally, that person is a grade A asshole. This is also an overly simplistic description of what people are doing to your bodily integrity when they harass or abuse you. Without your consent, they harm something of great worth that belongs to you. You are the arbiter of who does and does not get to touch you. You are also the arbiter of your conversations. If someone approaches you with and interest you do not share, it is your call to tell that person you aren't interested, politely. If they don't back down, that person is being the jerk--not you.
What I am trying to say is what is common is not acceptable. Despite everything I said, the world out there is not going to acknowledge the integrity of each individual's body and the choices they make with their body. Why? Because it's normal to see people as objects. It is normal for relatives to make disapproving remarks about children who don't like their hugs or "complain" about being tickled. It's normal for people to judge the sex lives of strangers by the clothes they wear or the amount of make up on their faces. If no one ever tells you, if you just have to learn from experience in the world, the message is clear--your body is an object in the world for objectification, harassment and abuse of others.
Let's start telling our children, let's start telling our partners and friends: I respect you, even when the world at large seems to have lost any sense of the verb, and I will help you. Help one another when we struggle with lack of self-esteem and our ability to believe we deserve respect. Help when we see someone's integrity being breached in anyway. Help people find healing and justice when they have suffered from this "normal" world. "Normal" doesn't change until the conversation does. Help build a new normal of bodily integrity.
Monday, April 14, 2014
Home Away from Home
In a span of less than four months I will have driven over 3,000 miles. I am developing a certain kind of exhaustion from my peripatetic behavior, but with experience comes skill. I am becoming a well-honed road-tripping person. At the same time, there are always a few new weird firsts.
For example, I am a master of the road trip music mixing. I have my own comfort blend between different musical genres for all points in the journey with a good mixing of public radio thrown in to balance the sound waves out. At the same times, this upcoming journey will be my first where I stay in a hotel room by myself (in America).
I have stayed a number of place on my own before, but always as just a launch pad for exploring the area. Who cares about sleeping in a cold, damp hostel room when you spent the day roaming Venice and eating gelato? (Okay, I cared a little bit. I don't think I was properly dry till I was home for a week afterwards.) It is different, however, just to spend the night somewhere because you know your body is physically incapable of continuing to drive.
I am trying to view this trip as an opportunity to explore my overnight location, but I'll honestly probably want to go lounge in a hot tub curl up under lots o' blankets and sleep a solid nine hours. Sometimes having a home away from home isn't so much of an adventure and more of a necessity. Anyways, I'll see how it goes.
For example, I am a master of the road trip music mixing. I have my own comfort blend between different musical genres for all points in the journey with a good mixing of public radio thrown in to balance the sound waves out. At the same times, this upcoming journey will be my first where I stay in a hotel room by myself (in America).
I have stayed a number of place on my own before, but always as just a launch pad for exploring the area. Who cares about sleeping in a cold, damp hostel room when you spent the day roaming Venice and eating gelato? (Okay, I cared a little bit. I don't think I was properly dry till I was home for a week afterwards.) It is different, however, just to spend the night somewhere because you know your body is physically incapable of continuing to drive.
I am trying to view this trip as an opportunity to explore my overnight location, but I'll honestly probably want to go lounge in a hot tub curl up under lots o' blankets and sleep a solid nine hours. Sometimes having a home away from home isn't so much of an adventure and more of a necessity. Anyways, I'll see how it goes.
Sunday, April 13, 2014
Should rape be considered a special class of violence?
Trigger warning: discussion of rape and sexual violence
Caitlin Moran, a columnist for The Times Magazine in the UK, wrote an article back in January advocating that we need to start seeing rape as just another form of violence. I only found this piece yesterday after finding a link she posted to the whole article without having to pay to read it. I wanted to talk about her article and the question of whether or not violence that involves sexual acts deserves a special kind of consideration. I want to start of by saying that I think Moran is shining a light on an important problem surround dealing with sexual violence, and I think her article is a piece worth reading, but I still have a lot of reservations and concerns.
Moran's argument stems from the complicated relationships human beings have with sex and its related subjects. She argues that because of our confused, conflicted and complicated relationship with sex as a species, we should stop using the words rape and sexual crime. As she states, "A word so hard for an injured woman,--or a man, or a child--to say, now that we've used it in too many places, for too many disparate things, for it be functionally descriptive of a crime." She offers alternative names for these crimes, such as internal assault, intramural attack or even just assault.
It think Moran is absolutely right that sexuality can often blur subjects that are actually quite straightforward. If it didn't, there wouldn't be so many conservatives in America claiming they want less government regulation while working to place laws on the books allowing businesses to discriminate against homosexuals. The issue, I think, is that Moran's argument jumps from "sex confuses us as humans" to "therefore, we should leave it out of our considerations of crimes." But, she never examines whether or not sexuality deserves any separate consideration in criminal proceedings.
Rape and other kinds of sexual crimes are clearly seen as acts of violence in cases like the one Moran examines (more on that below), but what about cases of spousal or partner rape? What about cases of manipulation that never reach the point of penetration? Is there a good reason why people seem, in general, more offended by a person raping a child than beating them?
Sex is complicated, but I think for a range of reasons that cannot be easily dismissed. Some of them are just poor cultural constructs, taboos. However, sex is also one of the bigger acts of physical trust we will make with another person. I would also argue that it is, for many, one of the biggest acts of intimacy, of emotional risk-taking. Sex is not just culturally and politically charged because of patriarchy (though I do not wish to dismiss that factor, either). Sexual acts and behaviors have value to people as people. They become parts of our identities: we go so far as to gather under flags with the people like us and who support us in our sexual orientations, identities and behaviors. Sex is not the only important factor in how we see ourselves and our value in the world, but it sure as hell is one of them.
Moran sets her article in light of a comment of the defense lawyer representing three of the men charged with the gang rape and murder of woman on a bus in Delhi, India. The lawyer, Manohar Lal Sharma, said, "Until today, I have not seen a single incident or example of rape with a respected lady," and insisted the woman was "whole responsible" for her death. I think Moran correctly points out that, when dealing with sexual crimes, we often see the victims as attacked below before we recognize them as attached above: "It's become another argument about men and women and desire and politics and culture. Rather than what it is--what all rapes are: one human ripping another human being to pieces."
I think this is where Moran makes her strongest point, which is that we should never use the sexual aspect of a crime to down play the fact that it is a crime. No matter how the harm is done, no matter the gender, number, intoxication, age, relationship, etc. between the persons involved, it remains harm. Our first concern should be for justice for the victims as whole persons, not as sexual objects. It is never just a crime from below.
I am glad people like Moran are writing about this subject and making it a part of our cultural conversation. We certainly do need to rethink how we discuss and approach crimes involving sexuality, but I do not think we can simply subtract the sexual aspect from these cases. Sex is too much a part of being human, and ultimately justice is for the protection of humanity in its variety. I will stand with Moran in saying that I hope we can all stop using victim-blaming or a persons sexuality or sexual behavior (real or simply perceived) to make judgement about those coming forward with criminal complaints. It is a favor we can extend to all victims, to all criminals, to see them as whole, dynamic and immensely complex human beings for whom we we will work for justice.
Caitlin Moran, a columnist for The Times Magazine in the UK, wrote an article back in January advocating that we need to start seeing rape as just another form of violence. I only found this piece yesterday after finding a link she posted to the whole article without having to pay to read it. I wanted to talk about her article and the question of whether or not violence that involves sexual acts deserves a special kind of consideration. I want to start of by saying that I think Moran is shining a light on an important problem surround dealing with sexual violence, and I think her article is a piece worth reading, but I still have a lot of reservations and concerns.
Moran's argument stems from the complicated relationships human beings have with sex and its related subjects. She argues that because of our confused, conflicted and complicated relationship with sex as a species, we should stop using the words rape and sexual crime. As she states, "A word so hard for an injured woman,--or a man, or a child--to say, now that we've used it in too many places, for too many disparate things, for it be functionally descriptive of a crime." She offers alternative names for these crimes, such as internal assault, intramural attack or even just assault.
It think Moran is absolutely right that sexuality can often blur subjects that are actually quite straightforward. If it didn't, there wouldn't be so many conservatives in America claiming they want less government regulation while working to place laws on the books allowing businesses to discriminate against homosexuals. The issue, I think, is that Moran's argument jumps from "sex confuses us as humans" to "therefore, we should leave it out of our considerations of crimes." But, she never examines whether or not sexuality deserves any separate consideration in criminal proceedings.
Rape and other kinds of sexual crimes are clearly seen as acts of violence in cases like the one Moran examines (more on that below), but what about cases of spousal or partner rape? What about cases of manipulation that never reach the point of penetration? Is there a good reason why people seem, in general, more offended by a person raping a child than beating them?
Sex is complicated, but I think for a range of reasons that cannot be easily dismissed. Some of them are just poor cultural constructs, taboos. However, sex is also one of the bigger acts of physical trust we will make with another person. I would also argue that it is, for many, one of the biggest acts of intimacy, of emotional risk-taking. Sex is not just culturally and politically charged because of patriarchy (though I do not wish to dismiss that factor, either). Sexual acts and behaviors have value to people as people. They become parts of our identities: we go so far as to gather under flags with the people like us and who support us in our sexual orientations, identities and behaviors. Sex is not the only important factor in how we see ourselves and our value in the world, but it sure as hell is one of them.
Moran sets her article in light of a comment of the defense lawyer representing three of the men charged with the gang rape and murder of woman on a bus in Delhi, India. The lawyer, Manohar Lal Sharma, said, "Until today, I have not seen a single incident or example of rape with a respected lady," and insisted the woman was "whole responsible" for her death. I think Moran correctly points out that, when dealing with sexual crimes, we often see the victims as attacked below before we recognize them as attached above: "It's become another argument about men and women and desire and politics and culture. Rather than what it is--what all rapes are: one human ripping another human being to pieces."
I am glad people like Moran are writing about this subject and making it a part of our cultural conversation. We certainly do need to rethink how we discuss and approach crimes involving sexuality, but I do not think we can simply subtract the sexual aspect from these cases. Sex is too much a part of being human, and ultimately justice is for the protection of humanity in its variety. I will stand with Moran in saying that I hope we can all stop using victim-blaming or a persons sexuality or sexual behavior (real or simply perceived) to make judgement about those coming forward with criminal complaints. It is a favor we can extend to all victims, to all criminals, to see them as whole, dynamic and immensely complex human beings for whom we we will work for justice.
Saturday, April 12, 2014
What's on the reading pile?
I had nice stroll up to my public library today. The ability to read books from across the world for free (almost always) is pretty fucking amazing. Additionally, I have had the great fortune of so many great librarians helping me research my own personal interests, for school and for work. I grew up in near a town without a public library beyond the school, so college was the first revelation to me of what an amazing public service these places are for our communities.
Anyways, rather than raving to the internet void about my love of libraries, I thought I would share what is on my reading pile, today, courtesy of my local library.
1) "Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal," by Christopher Moore
This irreverent novel gives a glimpse into the earlier years of life of Jesus through his often sinning best friend, Biff. I'm about two-thirds of my way through this one. I think it's probably funniest to those who had a Christian upbringing and have the context for more of the jokes. I'm reserving judgement until I finish.
2) "Crazy Horse and Custer," by Stephen E. Ambrose
Boy, I have been working on this one for awhile. Despite not being a history lover, I have been enjoying this book, but it also comes with the price of many annoyances if you are much informed about Native American history or culture. I only get through a chapter every couple days, but I think I'm going to stick it out.
3) "East of Eden," by John Steinbeck
Okay, should have called this list "List of books I'm taking forever to read." I started reading "East of Eden" over a year ago, but then I was traveling a lot and I am just now getting back to picking it up. I hated the first Steinbeck novel I read, "The Pearl," but only because the story was sad and I was 16. Now, a couple more novels in, I am in love with the storytelling.
4) "The Meat Racket," by Christopher Leonard
I just picked this one up today. I've been looking forward to reading Leonard's expose on the meat industrial complex in the United States. I'm not looking forward to how dead depressing it is likely going to be, but to have the in depth analysis this book is suppose to provide will be very helpful, I think, for determining my own approach to the problem.
There are, of course, many more books in the pile, but these are the ones I am most actively pursuing currently. What are you reading? Any good suggestions?
Anyways, rather than raving to the internet void about my love of libraries, I thought I would share what is on my reading pile, today, courtesy of my local library.
1) "Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal," by Christopher Moore
This irreverent novel gives a glimpse into the earlier years of life of Jesus through his often sinning best friend, Biff. I'm about two-thirds of my way through this one. I think it's probably funniest to those who had a Christian upbringing and have the context for more of the jokes. I'm reserving judgement until I finish.
2) "Crazy Horse and Custer," by Stephen E. Ambrose
Boy, I have been working on this one for awhile. Despite not being a history lover, I have been enjoying this book, but it also comes with the price of many annoyances if you are much informed about Native American history or culture. I only get through a chapter every couple days, but I think I'm going to stick it out.
3) "East of Eden," by John Steinbeck
Okay, should have called this list "List of books I'm taking forever to read." I started reading "East of Eden" over a year ago, but then I was traveling a lot and I am just now getting back to picking it up. I hated the first Steinbeck novel I read, "The Pearl," but only because the story was sad and I was 16. Now, a couple more novels in, I am in love with the storytelling.
4) "The Meat Racket," by Christopher Leonard
I just picked this one up today. I've been looking forward to reading Leonard's expose on the meat industrial complex in the United States. I'm not looking forward to how dead depressing it is likely going to be, but to have the in depth analysis this book is suppose to provide will be very helpful, I think, for determining my own approach to the problem.
There are, of course, many more books in the pile, but these are the ones I am most actively pursuing currently. What are you reading? Any good suggestions?
Friday, April 11, 2014
The Idols of Categorical Thinking
Today, I read Cindy Hoang's blog titled, "What It's Like to Be a Girl Who Codes." One thing she said stuck out: as a clear demonstration of how gender inequality impacts everyone negatively: "During that entire week, I struggled to see the guys as equals. To me, they always seemed to know so much more, use bigger words, and essentially, be better programmers. "
There is nothing beneficial about making gods of a group of people or an individual. Role models, people who inspire us, people who encourage us to be better versions of ourselves--a good things. But, when we use categories to make people into pure saints (or sinners), we are denying the most basic aspects of humanity--most especially its complexity. Even the best among us have made, make and will make more mistakes. Sometimes the best role model is the person who teaches us how to admit to making bad choices and to move forward, making better ones for the future.
When a woman enters a so-called "male domain" with the connected belief that it is a male domain because men are best at that thing, it can decrease her willingness to question the behavior of these "superiors." Alternatively, when a person enters a domain with a belief that they are systemically inferior to the majority in that system, the opportunities for manipulation and abuse grow.
The fact is, whether or not someone is better at a given skill or activity than you are, they do not get any extra moral value. You can be a fantastic mathematician and be a total asshole. You can be a fantastic mathematician and still make mistakes.
No category should ever keep us down and out. You should value your skills because they are yours and you can develop and explore them with others. You should see others as worthy of notice in a field not because they are better than you, but because of their efforts in relation to themselves. Often times we have the great fortune of learning from people who have much more knowledge on a given subject, and, when we are lucky, these people help us realize the value of that knowledge for ourselves without idealizing them or degrading ourselves.
There is nothing beneficial about making gods of a group of people or an individual. Role models, people who inspire us, people who encourage us to be better versions of ourselves--a good things. But, when we use categories to make people into pure saints (or sinners), we are denying the most basic aspects of humanity--most especially its complexity. Even the best among us have made, make and will make more mistakes. Sometimes the best role model is the person who teaches us how to admit to making bad choices and to move forward, making better ones for the future.
When a woman enters a so-called "male domain" with the connected belief that it is a male domain because men are best at that thing, it can decrease her willingness to question the behavior of these "superiors." Alternatively, when a person enters a domain with a belief that they are systemically inferior to the majority in that system, the opportunities for manipulation and abuse grow.
The fact is, whether or not someone is better at a given skill or activity than you are, they do not get any extra moral value. You can be a fantastic mathematician and be a total asshole. You can be a fantastic mathematician and still make mistakes.
No category should ever keep us down and out. You should value your skills because they are yours and you can develop and explore them with others. You should see others as worthy of notice in a field not because they are better than you, but because of their efforts in relation to themselves. Often times we have the great fortune of learning from people who have much more knowledge on a given subject, and, when we are lucky, these people help us realize the value of that knowledge for ourselves without idealizing them or degrading ourselves.
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