Remember that one time I set a writing goal?

So, remember that one time I made a kind-of-sort-of commitment to writing on this blog? How did that turn out again?

Anyways, I can't forever let things get away from me hinder a new try can I. So, for now, this will be a less ambitious writing project, but one I will try to have some commitment to nonetheless. I have, of course, chosen to start writing here again at a very stressful and busy time at work, but I think that makes the "writing for fun" even more important to me now.

But, thinking about failed habit forming attempts is a good endeavor. I usually discover something about myself, my interest in the habit I was pursuing and my own motivations in life in the process. One of the most important parts of that, I think, is understanding from where my motivations spring. So much of my own childhood was spent with people who see the world quite differently than I do, down to their values and expectations for others. Being at an age where I am financially secure enough to really make choice for myself in a practical way also requires reflection on how I make choices emotionally and through my own psychological history.

The most complex part about this that I do not feel like I was prepared for at all in any of my education is just how often I am going to make decisions only to later reflect and see how I was "choosing" for someone else, not myself. This is not to say I am seeking to only ever make decisions with my own self-interest in mind, but I am seeking to find my own motivation for all of my decisions in life. Whether it is the work I do, my hobbies or the people with whom I spend my time, I seek self-knowledge and self-direction in the actions that make up those practices and relationships.

Will this be another "failed" habit attempt? I do not think it is possible: every attempt at creating a new habit in ones life is an opportunity to learn from what you think you want and into what you will actually put the time and effort. I look forward to the discoveries.