Things otherwise lost in the digital age...

Today, whilst searching for a disc that has the drivers on it for my parents' old printer, I found a mixed CD I made when I was in junior high (I think?). It was a great blast from the past. Here's the playlist for anyone longing to know the musical contents of my refined teenage tastes. Otherwise, skip the bullet list for the mindwanderings listening to it caused.

• Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy--Big & Rich 
• Yep, this list can only gets better from here (I think; I'm listening to the songs as I type this.) As much as I despise lines such as, "I'm a thoroughbread, that's what she said," I'm not ashamed of some great memories I have because of this song. For example, I once road through the tiny village I went to elementary school in screaming this song out the windows with my oldest sister.
• Hey Leonardo (She likes me for me)--Blessid Union of Souls
• Okay, this is a genuine classic from my childhood. "I'm so glad I've found her once again,"--ditto, song, ditto. 90s gold. I'm just sitting and listening to the whole thing right now because my ears have missed the splendid pop culture references. 
• The Distance--Cake
• I think this was one of the first Cake songs I ever heard. I love the guitar during the chorus, and I was definitely hooked into listening to full albums by this song and, of course, "Short Skirt/Long Jacket."
• A Little Less Conversation ft. Elvis Presley--remixed by JXL
• I am a self-professed Elvis hater. The king just does not do it for me. I think it's mostly from hearing, "In the Ghetto," a few hundred too many times on the oldies station (about the only thing that comes in at my parents' house). For this, however, I make an exception. No hatred is pure, I suppose. 
• Havin' a Bad Day--Blue Flannel
• Remember that Bad Day song by Daniel Powter. Yeah, this isn't that one. This is the one for embracing your bad days, declaring "Fuck the world," and leaving silver lining searching for somebody else. (I also like the Powter song. I'm allowed more than one attitude towards bad days.)
• December, 1963 (Oh, What a Night)--The Four Seasons
• I'm not sure what to say about this one. I'm going to repeat--the only radio I heard till I was fourteen what the oldies station. This belongs in a folder with Crocodile Rock. I could probably live without it, but why not?
• Minority--Green Day
• Listening to Green Day was probably the most badass thing I could think of doing when I made this CD. Still, a little bit pleased that it managed to be the follow up to The Four Seasons. Eclecticism for the win!
• Are you gonna be my girl?--Jet
• This was the definitive tune of eighth grade. I remember my whole class singing along to this to drive my geography teacher nuts--I especially remember one male classmate doing a very enthusiastic dance across the room. 
• Breakaway--Kelly Clarkson
• I laughed out loud when this one started to play. I think I will just go ahead and skip to...
• Black Dog--Led Zeppelin
• My brother got me into Led Zeppelin with this song. Today, I would probably put Immigrant Song above this, but still a great tune.
• Hey, Hey, What Can I Do--Led Zeppelin
• Not sure why this one got on the CD, still good, but I'm not sure why I was into lyrics about "untrue women." It was probably the guitars...
• Our Lives--The Calling
• Good generic positive 2000s music. Really don't have much more to say about that one.
• Teacher's Pet--from the movie, School of Rock
• I found this movie hilarious at the time, and I was also really into learning rock music at the time. Yet, somehow I've never learned any instrument for a traditional rock band--unless someone can tell me of a rock band with a lead harpsichord player.
• Broken--Seether
• I was really into the band Evanescence in junior high, so when Amy Lee did this song with Seether, of course I had to have it. 
• Lullaby--Shawn Mullins
• What else did this guy sing? I'm pretty sure this is the only song I heard by him, but it was gold to my teen ears. I think I must have heard this on Scrubs? I really don't know.
•  I Kissed a Drunk Girl--Something Corporate
• This song and Constantine are probably the only Something Corporate songs I listened to until I learned that Jack's Mannequin was actually the pianist for these guys. One of my high school friends and I joked this was our theme song, despite the fact that no one has ever kissed this girl whilst she was drunk. 
• Concrete Girl--Switchfoot
• I still love a lot of songs by these guys, but I hadn't listened to this in a while. 
• Teenage Dirtbag--Wheatus
• This was also a platonic relationship theme song. I also had no idea who Iron Maidien was when I heard it. Or an IROC.
• Seven Nation Army--The White Stripes
• Ah, the beginning of another long running musical love affair. Still enjoying these guys. Jack White on his own, not as much, but I can't deny his amazing musical skills.

So, there you have it. A musical road map to the weirdness of my former self. The amazing thing about listening to this CD now is mostly just thinking about how if this was a play list on my iPod, I would have just deleted it after awhile. Instead, with this CD I have a kind of record of an exact moment when I had to decide what was good enough to burn on to a non-re-writable disc. It makes me a little less anxious to throw away old parts of myself, like when I come across old birthday cards and letters. I can't hold on to all of these things forever. In the age of digital temporality, I want to be able to hold on to things like this a little more. 

Which ebooks am I reading? Which parts are the most interesting in them? I can't just look at which parts of the spine I broke from rereading passages over an over again. Am I embarrassed to be the girl that thought all of these songs were cool enough to require disc format? Not at all. I love getting to look back on who I was, even just in terms of what songs I was obsessed with, only a decade or so ago. It is a reminder to me in the age when you can take a thousand photos and delete them all in an instant that there's nothing wrong with documenting, preserving, and rediscovering my own weirdness. Don't delete all those terrible selfies or throw out old journals without first taking a little time to rediscover who you were and how you have become the amazing you that is in the now.