Things that keep me from writing

I think a good place to start on a short term goal (AKA, me writing a blog everyday for a month) is to think about why you are not already doing the thing that is your goal. So, today I want to write about the top three reasons I usually do not write on this blog.

1) Nothing dies on the internet. Living in the age of internet socializing and job searches, its not totally irrational to fear something flippant you say on the internet coming back to bite you in the ass. However, one of the great things about never being able to totally delete the past is that we have an opportunity to live more honestly. If I do say something stupid on this blog, I hope it will be relatively minor. But, I also welcome the opportunity to make mistakes, have them pointed out to me (hopefully in a kind way) and to improve from the experience.

2) English and I--not best friends. This goes somewhat with number one, but is a specific mistake that I know I make (and will continue to make) over and over again. I am no where near an expert at using English spelling and grammar. It is irksome to later read something I wrote and see a huge spelling error. (Case in point, discovering a spelling error in my work e-mail signature. Agh!) The fact is, my brain is not attentive to these kind of details and I don't prioritize them enough. However, writing more gives me an opportunity to work on making these mistakes fewer and, hopefully, less egregious.

3) What can I say that has not already been said? This was a problem for me as a student and it continues now. This belief that I have nothing important to add to the conversation is a real hindrance to developing clear thinking and writing. It encourages me to hide my ideas away from the harsh light of shared conversation, preventing me from improving and refining my thinking. This one is a difficult one to over come, for me, as it is really a matter of self-confidence. For now, I would say, Ralph Waldo Emerson's "Self-Reliance" is my best defense against this fear. I will have to reread it this month.

Because of these three aspects, I have several draft blogs laying in wait and many more for which I never even started a draft. I hope that I will get some of these fleshed out and shared with you over the next month. But, sharing is always a risk. The risks of rejection, failure and mistakes can crush any endeavor before it starts. I think, however, it is better for ideas to live out in the world, not hidden away in our minds. If we are in error, we live with a mistaken reality with no hope of remedy. If we have good idea, we might be missing opportunities to clarify and refine our thinking.  I look forward to remedying some of my mistaken perceptions and fine-tuning some of my more accurate ones over the next month.